Family Guy

Season 7, Episode 2  |  October 5th, 2008

I Dream of Jesus

While attending a 1950s-themed restaurant, Peter hears his favorite song, "Surfin' Bird", on the jukebox. One of the employees removes the record because it's a 1960s song and thus wouldn't exist in the '50s, so Peter offers to trade Meg (directing him to an attractive, unrelated woman) for sex in exchange for it. He begins driving everyone crazy by endlessly playing and singing to it, and even squanders the family's savings to make a public service announcement where he can do so on TV. Before they completely lose their minds, Stewie and Brian steal the record in Peter's sleep. The next morning, Peter blames the family for the record's disappearance — Stewie and Brian had smashed it à la Office Space — before going out in an attempt to buy another copy. The clerk at the record store tells Peter they have sold all 63 copies at once (to "a dog and a baby"; the past three stores said the same thing) before Peter notices that the clerk looks familiar, ultimately realizing he is Jesus Christ.

Jesus explains that he comes to Earth every century or so to unwind, but that he must also try to keep a low profile. Peter encourages Jesus to socialize and invites him over for dinner with his family, who also recognize him as the messiah (Brian only seems convinced when Jesus turns their dinner into sundaes and engorges Lois' breasts to triple their normal size, the latter at Peter's insistence). Jesus has such a great time with the Griffins that he decides to make his second coming. At first no one seems to notice him, but when Peter loses a dollar in the wind and it lands in a public fountain, Jesus retrieves it by walking on the surface of the water in front of everyone, amazing them.

The word that Jesus has returned begins spreading when he starts appearing on The Tonight Show and the MTV Music Video Awards, and he becomes a celebrity. He is caught up in his newfound popularity that he begins to neglect his friendship with Peter, sending all his cell phone calls to voice mail, prompting Peter to use Lois' cellphone (whom Jesus has no problem answering) to complain. Soon Jesus gets arrested after a drinking binge and ending up unconscious at Mary-Kate Olsen's house before making anti-Semitic comments. Jesus asks Peter for bail; Peter only heads over to the police station when Jesus makes a lamp in Peter's living room smash into Peter's head. With Jesus in disrepute, he decides that maybe he wasn't mature enough to return to the world, but Peter remarks that the maturity of his statement might mean the day he'll be ready may not be too far off. Before he leaves this world, Jesus gives Peter a present: another record of "Surfin' Bird" to annoy his family with. Appropriately, the end credits roll with "Surfin' Bird" playing in the background.