Family Guy

Season 2, Episode 16  |  June 27th, 2000

There's Something About Paulie

The Griffins need a new car. Lois decides to buy one out of the classified ads, but Peter refuses, having concluded that buying a car out of the classifieds is what led to an acquaintance of his contracting herpes, ten years later.

Peter and Lois go to the local car dealership, where despite Lois's advice, a salesman (Jim Kaplan the conman) convinces Peter to buy a car he claims James Bond previously owned. The car malfunctions, but Peter is able to trade it in with insurance money when a mafia member offers to help. The favor he needs to repay is simple: to take the Don's nephew, Big Fat Paulie to the movies. Peter and Big Fat Paulie become friends, but Lois says that she does not think that Big Fat Paulie is a good person, and orders Peter to get rid of him. When Peter says that they could hang out if Lois wasn't around, Big Fat Paulie interprets it as a request to put a hit on Lois. When Peter finds out, he tries to gets Big Fat Paulie to call it off, but the gangster is gunned incessantly by a passing car before he can do so. The next day, Lois finds out from the newspaper that Peter brought home a mobster and learns that a hit was placed on her. Peter goes to the mafia "pet store"; Peter talks freely about what is going on despite the mobster telling Peter that the place is bugged. To get rid of him, he give's Peter an invitation to the Don's daughter's wedding. Because every guest gets a free favor, Lois tells Peter that he can ask the Don to call off the hit. However, he screws it up and gets nothing but a tiramisu.

When they are outside, Peter sees the Don's daughter and her fiancé arguing. He tells them that they should listen to each other because he learned that the hard way. Just then, the mobster recognize Lois as the person he's supposed to whack. In order to save Lois' life, Peter asks the Don to kill him instead. The Don, overwhelmed by Peter's kindness to Lois, calls off the hit entirely.

They ask the valet to bring their car around and it explodes, killing him. The mobster catches up with them and tries to warn them about the car, but he notices the car and leaves. Peter and Lois reflect on how nobody important got hurt in this incident, as the valet's vest falls from the sky.